Speak of the devil
by Ford.Ye.Fiji
Summary: A little twist to the scene at the Upper Tadfield Air Base. Rated T for one F bomb. Based on a tumblr post.


**A/N: goodness I haven't done anything on here in quite awhile! I completely forgot how maddening the formatting was XD I'm going to attempt to keep crossposting the stuff i have on AO3 here, but honestly? Who knows if I'll get it done. There's so much and the system is driving me nuts! XD hopefully they'll let the tumblr post show up here: post/185683014874/ok-so-you-know-how-in-miltons-paradise-lost-the**

"Wait till your father hears of this!" Beezlebub shifts, utterly furious, her chin lifting imperiously. Gabriel edges away from her slightly. He knows who she speaks of. Adam, to his credit, seems unafraid.

Crowley takes a step forward and Aziraphale reacts, snatching his best friend's arm in a vice like grip, "Crowley!" He hisses, not unlike a snake, his teeth clenched in a parody of a smile, "Don't do anything foolish!"

Crowley pats the angel's hand, "Don't you worry your head- I've got a plan."

Aziraphale looks even more worried, and so very scared at this turn of events, "_Crowley-!_"

The demon steps forward heedlessly, Adam watching his movements curiously.

"Actually I- uh I think I'm alright with it, really. No need to make such a fuss."

The world stills.

Beezlebub blinks with confusion, Gabriel's brow furrows, Adam's eyes widen, and Aziraphale... Aziraphale sputters, "Crowley! What on earth are you doing-?"

Crowley glances back apologetically, and then he pivots, facing Beezlebub again, "I'm fine with it. So really, you should call the whole thing off."

Beelzebub takes a step forward, teeth grinding as she spits out, "What do you think you're doing, Crowley...?"

Crowley takes off his sunglasses, yellow eyes flashing as the ground, quite impossibly, rumbles with ominous warning, "Beezlebub, _call it off._"

Beezlebub stiffens, understanding dawning in her suddenly wary dark eyes. Her tone shifts and then she nods, taking a step back, "Of course, m'lord."

Gabriel's mouth opens, shuts, as he blanches with comprehension. He vanishes abruptly in a puff of bright celestial light. Beezlebub glowers at Crowley with an air of annoyance but sufficiently cowed obedience. She snaps her fingers and, she too, vanishes- this time in a cloud of black smoke.

Aziraphale gapes at Crowley as the demon turns and smiles weakly at Adam, "Uh Yeah. So I guess. Yep." He clucks his tongue, "Yep yep yep."

Adam tilts his head as he speaks with carefully calculated words, "You're my father?"

Crowley nods, scratches behind his ear, and carefully avoids Adam's gaze, "Only in the biological sense. I suppose. But yeah."

Aziraphale squeaks.

Adam nods once, clipped and short, "_Only_ in the biological sense."

Crowley presses his lips together sheepishly, "Now that the world's not ending, do you want to go home?"

Wensleydale interrupts them, "Yes, please!"

The edge of Crowley's lips turn up and he gives them a little half bow, "Then we'll take our leave. And take care of these." He nods at the four horsemen's tools of the trade.

The Them gather around Adam and Dog as they walk away, Pepper throwing a glance back at the two remaining figures on the should've-been battlefield.

Anathema and Newt had wisely decided to find someplace elsewhere to be.

As the children round the gate Crowley finally turns and _looks_ at Aziraphale. The angel stares back, paler than he's ever been before, blue eyes blown wide and terrified.

Crowley found he understood the human phrase, 'sweating bullets' now. He takes a step forward, "Angel-"

He halts abruptly, frozen, as Aziraphale reacts to his movement, taking a hasty step backwards.

Aziraphale is afraid. _Afraid of him._

Crowley raises his hands non-threateningly, "Aziraphale-"

Aziraphale shakes his head, "_Crowley-!_" His voice cracks and the demon winces.

Aziraphale takes a deep breath, starting again, "Crowley."

The demon doesn't interrupt as the angel struggles to find words, "You... you- you're... _why? Why _didn't you_ tell _me?" Aziraphale gestures expansively, "And- and what on earth are you doing? Well, _here_ on earth? With _me?_ A mere _principality?_" Aziraphale trembles, growing braver, "And why! Why did you tell me that you were just _a_ fiend! You're _the_ fiend!"

Crowley tries to interrupt, "To be fair, angel, I never said I wasn't _the_ devil I just didn't correct you-"

Aziraphale stomps a foot, really working up quite an impressive outburst, "Let me finish!" Crowley snaps his jaw shut and nods hastily. Aziraphale huffs, "Thank you, dear." Crowley feels some semblance of hope growing as the angel continues his tirade, utterly oblivious to his friend's rising spirits, "You're _the_ devil, Crowley! _The! Devil!_" His voice rises to a fantastic pitch as he begins to pace, "I've been _best friends_ with _the_ devil for _six_ _thousand years!_ We've had dinner together!" Aziraphale wails without stopping for breath, "We've talked about _ducks!_ _Ducks!_ I have had _crêpes_ with _the_ devil!" He whirls to face him, "What _the fuck_, Crowley!"

Crowley gapes, trying to process everything, "You- you just swore!"

Aziraphale snaps, color returned to his face, "Yes, Crowley, but that is _the least_ of our problems right now, isn't it!" He stalks forward and points a finger at the demon, "You- you lied! You- you-!"

Crowley whispers softly, voice tinged with relief that the angel had decided that it was safe enough to invade his space, "Demon?"

Aziraphale choked on a laugh thick with hysteria.

Crowley's brows furrow with worry as Aziraphale slumps, his laughter dry and warped. He froze as Aziraphale fell forward slowly, letting his forehead come to rest squarely on Crowley's collarbone, arms hanging limply at his sides.

The demon patted the angel's back hesitantly and Aziraphale sighed, voice muffled, "Can we... can we just go home?"

"Sure, angel. We can go home."

Aziraphale hummed wearily and Crowley added, "And, I'll have you know that the topic just, ah, never really came up. And by the time I thought about it, well, I was perhaps, a bit afraid that you, er, while you were okay with having tea with _a_ fiend, you wouldn't want to have tea with _the_ fiend. Well, what I mean to say is- I was worried it would- it would put a dampener on well, ah, our friendship?"

Aziraphale scoffed, straightening to face Crowley even as he took a half-step back, but not too far- not out of arms reach, "My dear boy..." Aziraphale studied him carefully, before his brow relaxed and the anxious tilt to his thinned lips smoothed out into a soft and impossibly fond smile, "Crowley, you are quite foolish."

The demon spluttered, "Ah, well, ah, you're right I suppose."

Aziraphale nodded, "I am." He sighed, "And I am thoroughly exhausted and I find that I would rather not think about it anymore. Now seems as a good a time as any to delve into our supply of wines at the bookshop."

"That sounds heavenly no um... Nice." Crowley paused and then winced as he remembered, "Ah, um, actually, about that..."


End file.
